"The dog even offers considerable advantages

over the wife, the mistress, the toy-boy and the paramour: you do not have to take him out to lunch or dinner, conspire to be away for long weekends, share a bank account with him or settle outrageous bills run up on credit cards. You do not have to remember your dog's birthday, proposal that day, wedding day or any other anniversary; and you do not have to mend your quarrels with perfume and red roses, because you never quarrel with a dog."

Brian Sewell in 'Sleeping with Dogs'. Quartet Books 2013. p314.