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Abuse happens across all
ages and social backgrounds and with both genders - all people in pain.
Much abuse is within families. Maybe we need to talk about abuse to find
and address the root cause of why one human being abuses another, and
help both.
I outline my
personal perspective and how I wish to use my
experiences.
There are
two books I found helpful and well written and
researched.
'One problem in much abuse is the tendency of the one
who is hurt or oppressed to imagine himself as victim. I'm not saying
that victims are responsible for the situation, but that they don't have
to take oppression on its own terms. You can refuse to assume the role
and, instead, find strength in yourself, no matter how private and
internal, to keep from collapsing into victimhood. The problem is that
in entering the field of victim you may constellate in others the role
of aggressor. ... In the most ordinary situations people want to bind
you and give you orders, and often this attitude is entirely unconscious
and on the surface kind.'
Thomas
Moore
in Dark
Nights of the Soul: A Guide to finding your way through life's ordeals
2004 Gotham Books
p105 |